I'll have what she's having

”A friend of mine called me yesterday, almost in tears, and said:“I think you’ll understand how I feel. I’ve felt like this before… but it’s getting worse.”

She told me she felt ugly.
She felt old. Like really old.
She started fixating on everything she didn’t like about herself. Getting dressed didn’t help. Makeup didn’t help. Nothing helped.

For the record — she is stunning. Truly. But we all know how irrelevant that becomes in moments like this.

Then she said the missing piece:
“I think I’m about to get my period.”

And honestly… that’s why I’m writing this.

Being a woman is exactly this. One week you feel like a goddess, ready to conquer the world. The next, you’re Gollum from Lord of the Rings whispering “my precious” to your emotional support blanket. All in the span of one month.

She asked me, “What do you do on those days?”
I said, “I cry.”
We both laughed.

But jokes aside, something clicked for me.

Those days aren’t meant to be fixed. They’re meant to be accepted.

I told her that on those days, I give myself full permission to feel ugly. I don’t fight it. I don’t try to glow-up my way out of it. I put on my comfiest clothes, leave my face alone, and let myself exist exactly as I am — for a day, or two, or however long it takes.

Because let’s be honest: on those hormonal days, no matter what we do, we won’t like it anyway. So why fight ourselves?

Instead of “looking better,” I focus on feeling cared for.

I’ve found a little formula for those days — and it doesn’t involve leaving the house or pretending I’m fine.

My at-home period spa ritual

A shower is non-negotiable for me. It’s the reset button.
I love the Nécessaire Body Wash in Santal — it smells clean, warm, and grounding, not sweet or overpowering. Paired with their body lotion, my skin feels genuinely hydrated, not just temporarily soft. It’s one of those quiet luxury products that makes you feel put together without trying. (Yes, it’s a bit of an investment, but the bottle lasts forever.)

My hair also needs love during this time. There’s something about smelling good that instantly lifts my mood. I use the Crown Affair Signature Hair Perfume — it smells elegant, clean, and expensive in the best way. Not “perfume-y,” just polished. Even in pajamas.

Then I move on to skincare, slowly. No rushing.

I start with my CurrentBody LED mask (face and neck). Ten minutes of alone time, lights off, phone away. LED therapy helps with inflammation, collagen stimulation, and overall skin quality — but honestly, the mental benefit is just as important. It forces me to stop.

Next, a face mask. Lately I’ve been using a retinol mask from SOME BY MI, which helps with texture and glow. I keep expectations realistic — this isn’t about waking up transformed. It’s about the ritual.

I do the rest of my skincare mindfully, one step at a time. Then I finish with my favorite extra step: Dieux reusable eye patches. I love that you apply them after your skincare to help products absorb better. They feel cooling, luxurious, and the fact that they’re reusable makes me feel slightly less guilty about indulging.

And if you really want to take it over the top?
A shiatsu neck and back massager with heat. I have the HoMedics one and — trust me — on your period, this is elite-level comfort. Tension melts. Your body exhales. Game changer.

These little rituals help me survive those moments when hormones are all over the place, my thoughts feel dramatic, and my mind starts lying to me. Choosing to slow down and treat myself gently instead of “fixing” myself changes everything.

Yes, some of these things are an investment.
But honestly — isn’t going to the spa every month way more expensive?

And maybe the most important part of all of this: talking to someone who gets you.

That phone call reminded me how healing it is to say these things out loud to a friend who understands. Someone who won’t minimize it, won’t try to fix it, and won’t tell you to “just be positive.”

Sometimes, the glow-up isn’t makeup or skincare.
It’s a warm shower, a quiet night, and a friend on the other end of the phone saying, “Yeah… I’ve been there too.”

And that, honestly, makes everything feel a little lighter. 💛